If you’re reading this at 2 AM while your little one finally sleeps, or during your lunch break when you have exactly twelve minutes to yourself, I see you. This blog is for every mom who has ever felt like she’s lost herself somewhere between taking care of her children and client calls. Stepping back from work as a mom is not easy!
When Everything Changed: The Decision That Chose Me
It was the beginning of the second trimester of my pregnancy when my world tilted on its axis. I went on a work trip and upon returning I found myself spotting. I panicked and took the first available appointment with my obgyn. She sent me for an emergency ultrasound test. I was diagnosed with a low-lying placenta.
The decision to step back from my career wasn’t really a decision at all – it was survival. My doctor’s words were clear: “Your body is telling you to slow down. We need to prioritize keeping you and the baby healthy.” But even with medical necessity backing my choice, the guilt was overwhelming. I had worked so hard to build my reputation, to prove myself in a new job, and suddenly I was handing in my resignation letter at 18 weeks pregnant.
What happened to the woman I used to be? This question took on new weight when my body made the choice for me. I went from running meetings and managing projects to lying on a couch all day watching TV or texting my friends. The medical complications forced me to confront not just career changes, but the terrifying loss of control over my own body and future. Here’s what nobody tells you about stepping back due to pregnancy complications: the grief is double-layered. You’re mourning your career plans while simultaneously worrying about your health and your baby’s wellbeing.
Also Read: Living with Mom Guilt?: How to Cope with Mom Guilt and Prioritize Your Own Needs?
What No One Tells You About Stepping Back
The statistics are staggering, but they don’t capture the emotional weight. According to recent studies, 43% of highly qualified women leave their careers after having children, not because they don’t want to work, but because the system isn’t designed to support working mothers. What they don’t tell you is how this transition affects your mental health.
After giving birth to my daughter, I remember my first week as a “stay-at-home mom” (a title that never sat right with me – when exactly are we at home doing nothing?). My husband would come home from work with stories about meetings and projects, and I’d share updates about nap schedules and first smiles. Both were important, but the imbalance in our conversations started to chip away at my confidence.
What I experienced wasn’t uncommon: feelings of isolation, loss of professional identity, and a gnawing sense that I was somehow failing at both motherhood and my career ambitions. The guilt was overwhelming – guilt for missing work, guilt for sometimes missing work while playing with my child, guilt for feeling guilty about any of it.
Also Read: Parenthood: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Unconditional Love
Who Understands This Journey?
Who gets it? Other mothers who’ve walked this path. The mom at the playground who mentions she used to be in marketing. The woman at the grocery store who lights up when she talks about her previous life as a teacher. The neighbor who admits she sometimes misses the validation that came with performance reviews and project completions.
We are lawyers who became lunch-makers, executives who became full-time chauffeurs, doctors who traded stethoscopes for storybooks. And while our new roles are incredibly valuable, the transition isn’t always smooth. Who supports us through this identity shift? Too often, we’re expected to embrace it seamlessly, without acknowledging the very real emotional challenges that come with such a significant life change.
My husband tried his best to understand. He picked up extra responsibilities, encouraged me to take breaks, and genuinely appreciated everything I did. But even the most supportive partners can’t fully grasp the unique mental health challenges that come with stepping away from a career you loved.
Where Do We Find Our Voice?
Where can we express these complicated feelings without judgment? This question led me to start writing, first in private journals, then in online communities, and eventually here on this blog. I discovered that sharing our stories isn’t just therapeutic – it’s necessary.
I found my voice in unexpected places: mommy groups where conversations went beyond sleep schedules to discuss career dreams, online forums where women shared their struggles with identity and purpose, and meeting and spending time other moms who admitted they sometimes felt lonely despite being surrounded by love.
Where else can we reclaim parts of ourselves? Some of us find it in volunteer work that uses our professional skills. Others discover new passions that we never had time to explore. I started this blog not just as an outlet, but as a way to maintain some professional identity while honoring my role as a mother.
The key is recognizing that where we find fulfillment might look different now, and that’s okay. The corner coffee shop where I write while my toddler naps in the stroller has become as important to my well-being as my old corner office ever was.
Also Read: How Motherhood Has Changed Me
When Will It Get Better?
When does the fog lift? This is perhaps the most common question I receive from other mothers. The honest answer is that it’s different for everyone, but acknowledging the struggle is the first step toward healing.
For me, the turning point came around my child’s first birthday. Not because everything suddenly became easier, but because I finally gave myself permission to grieve the career I had paused and celebrate the mother I was becoming. When we stop trying to be perfect at everything, we create space for growth and self-compassion.
Some days are still hard. When my friends share promotion news or exciting work projects, I feel a familiar pang of longing. But I’ve learned to hold space for both feelings – pride in their achievements and contentment with my choices.
The timeline isn’t linear, and there’s no magic moment when everything clicks into place. When we accept that our journey is unique, we can stop measuring our healing against arbitrary benchmarks and start honoring our own pace.
Why Your Mental Health Matters
Why is it crucial to address these feelings? Because mothers’ mental health affects entire families. When we suppress our feelings of loss, confusion, or frustration, they don’t disappear – they manifest in other ways. Anxiety, depression, resentment, and physical exhaustion are all signals that we need to pay attention to our emotional well-being.
I used to think that putting my mental health first was selfish. Why should I focus on my feelings when my family needed me? I’ve since learned that caring for my mental health isn’t taking away from my family – it’s giving them the best version of myself.
Why do we need spaces to express these feelings? Because bottling them up serves no one. When we share our struggles, we discover we’re not alone, we’re not ungrateful, and we’re not failing. We’re human beings navigating one of life’s most significant transitions.
Also Read: 10 Worst Habits That Directly Affect Mental Health
How to Create Your Support System
How do we build the emotional support we need? Start small and be intentional. Join online communities where mothers share honestly about their experiences. Attend local mom groups, but don’t be afraid to steer conversations toward deeper topics than developmental milestones.
How can we maintain our mental health during this transition? Therapy isn’t just for crisis moments – it can be invaluable for processing identity changes and developing coping strategies. Many therapists now offer virtual sessions, making it easier for busy mothers to prioritize their mental health.
Create rituals that honor both your past and present selves. Maybe it’s reading industry publications during nap time, maintaining professional connections through LinkedIn, or setting aside time each week for activities that make you feel like yourself.
How do we communicate our needs to our partners? Be specific and honest. Instead of saying “I need help,” try “I need thirty minutes each morning to journal and drink my coffee while it’s hot.” Clear communication helps our partners understand how to support us practically and emotionally.
In the end…Move Forward with Compassion
Your journey as a mother who stepped back from her career is valid, complicated, and worthy of support. The feelings you’re experiencing – the loss, the confusion, the love, the frustration – they’re all part of this transition. You’re not alone in feeling like you’re grieving a former self while celebrating a new one.
Remember that taking care of your mental health isn’t selfish – it’s essential. Whether you return to your previous career, forge a new path, or continue in your current role, your well-being matters. Your story matters. Your voice matters.
And on those hard days when you wonder if you’re doing any of this right, remember that asking these questions means you care deeply about being the best mother and woman you can be. That awareness, that intention, that love – it’s more than enough.
You are seen, you are supported, and you are not alone on this journey.
In 2025, Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week (5–11 May 2025) is focusing on the theme “Your Voice, Your Strength.”
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