Eight years. That’s how long I’d been away from the corporate world when I finally decided it was time to return to work; become a working mom again. My youngest had just started kindergarten, my oldest was thriving in third grade, and suddenly I found myself staring at empty school hallways wondering, “What now?” My journey back after years away from work surely wasn’t going to be as easy as I imagined.
The decision wasn’t easy. After dedicating nearly a decade to raising my two beautiful children, the thought of rejoining the workforce felt both exciting and terrifying. I’d become comfortable in my role as a full-time mom, but deep down, I missed the professional challenges and the sense of identity that came with my career.
When I Knew I Was Ready (And When I Wasn’t)
Let me be honest – I thought I was ready to return to work several times over those eight years, but something always held me back. The timing finally felt right when both children were in school full-time. I realized I’d spent years waiting for the “perfect moment,” but perfection doesn’t exist in motherhood – or in career transitions. What I needed was simply the right moment for our family, and that came when my kids were settled, happy, and thriving in their routines.
My personal readiness checklist looked like this:
- Both kids were emotionally secure and excited about school
- I felt mentally prepared to take on new challenges
- Our family finances could handle the transition costs
- I had reliable backup plans for sick days and emergencies
- Most importantly, I wanted to return – not because I felt I should, but because I genuinely missed working
The Reality of Preparing for My Return
Finding My Professional Identity Again
I’ll never forget updating my LinkedIn profile – it felt like archaeological work, digging through old achievements while preparing myself mentally to handle the doubts of hiring authorities about my ability and capability to handle work and kids without compromises. I rehearsed so many answers to that might convince them.
The Childcare Challenge
Even with both kids in school, I needed reliable after-school care and backup plans for sick days, holidays, etc. The research process was exhausting. I visited seven different after-school and daycare programs, interviewed three potential full-time domestic helps, and created elaborate spreadsheets comparing costs and logistics.
My biggest mistake was assuming school hours would align with work hours. School and daycare ends at 6:00 PM – what working parent who get off at 6 can reach to the daycare at the same time to pick their kid? I quickly learned that “school-age childcare” was just as complex and expensive as infant care, just different.
My childcare solutions included:
- An after-school program at their elementary school
- A network of other parents for emergency backup
- Coordinated my calendar with my husband
Read more: Mindfulness and Motherhood: How to Develop Self-Awareness as a Mom
Rebuilding My Professional Wardrobe
This might sound shallow, but the clothing situation was real. After eight years of mom uniforms (yoga pants and oversized sweaters, anyone?), I had exactly zero professional outfits that fit properly. My body had changed after two pregnancies, my style preferences had evolved, and frankly, everything in my closet was too outdated.
I set a realistic budget for work clothes and started slowly, buying versatile pieces that could mix and match. I also learned that “business casual” meant something completely different in 2023 than it did in 2016 – thankfully, it was much more comfortable and practical.
My First Week Back: The Good, Bad, and Ugly
Day One: The War Zone
The morning routine felt like orchestrating a small military operation. I had to get myself ready for work, pack two school lunches, find matching socks, locate homework folders, and somehow get everyone out the door on time. By 8 AM, I felt like I’d already worked a full day.
The Unexpected Challenges
What surprised me most wasn’t the work itself – it was everything else. I forgot how draining commuting could be. I underestimated how tired I’d feel juggling full-time work with all my existing mom responsibilities. I hadn’t considered how guilty I’d feel missing school events or how complicated it would be to schedule doctor appointments.
The mental load felt enormous those first few months. I was managing two careers now – my professional job and my job as a mom – and both required constant attention and energy.
Read more: Working from home? – Working mums don’t have it easy. Here’s why!
What I Wish I’d Known Earlier
Start the Transition Gradually
If I could do it over again, I would have started working part-time or consulting before jumping into a full-time position. The adjustment period was more intense than I’d expected, and easing into it would have been kinder to everyone in our family.
The Guilt Is Normal (But Temporary)
I felt guilty about everything those first few months. Guilty for leaving the kids, guilty for not performing perfectly at work, guilty for being tired, guilty for ordering takeout instead of cooking dinner. I wish someone had told me this was completely normal and would pass as everyone adjusted to our new routine.
Your Kids Will Be Fine (Better Than Fine)
My biggest fear was that returning to work would somehow damage my children or our relationship. The opposite happened. My kids became more independent, more confident, and honestly, they seemed proud of their working mom. They learned valuable life skills and developed stronger relationships with their caregivers and extended family.
The Financial Reality Check
Returning to work after eight years meant starting at a lower salary than when I left, despite having more life experience and skills. The childcare costs, work wardrobe, commuting expenses, and convenience foods added up quickly. For the first year, I was basically breaking even financially, but I reminded myself I was investing in my long-term earning potential.
Read more: Four Working From Home Challenges And How To Tackle Them
Finding My Balance (Spoiler: It’s Always Shifting)
Creating New Family Routines
Everything had to change. Our morning routines, dinner times, weekend schedules, and even vacation planning all revolved around my work schedule now. It took about six months to find rhythms that worked for everyone.
I learned to batch household tasks, meal prep on Sundays, and lower my standards for house cleanliness. Perfect became the enemy of good, and good was actually pretty great.
The Village I Never Knew I Needed
Returning to work forced me to build a stronger support network. I connected with other working parents at school, joined a working moms’ group in my neighborhood, and strengthened relationships with extended family who could help with childcare.
These relationships became lifelines during challenging weeks and sources of practical advice and emotional support. I wish I’d built this network years earlier.
Professional Growth and Personal Fulfillment
The best part of returning to work? Remembering who I was beyond “mom.” Don’t get me wrong – being a mother is the most important job I’ll ever have, but reconnecting with my professional identity felt like coming home to a part of myself I’d missed.
I threw myself into learning new skills, took on challenging projects, and slowly rebuilt my confidence. Within two years, I received my first promotion, proving to myself that career breaks don’t have to mean career death.
Read more: The Truth About Stepping Back from Work as a Mom (It’s Harder Than Anyone Admits)
The Unexpected Benefits
My Kids Became My Biggest Cheerleaders
My children are now genuinely proud of their working mom. They brag about my job to their friends, include my work in school presentations about their family, and have developed a strong understanding of work ethic and responsibility.
I Became a Better Parent
This might sound counterintuitive, but I became more patient, more present, and more intentional with my parenting after returning to work. The time I spent with my kids became more precious because it wasn’t unlimited, and I learned to focus fully on them during our together time.
Our Marriage Strengthened
My husband and I became true partners in managing our household and parenting responsibilities. He stepped up in ways I hadn’t expected, and I appreciated his contributions more than ever. We both had to communicate better and support each other differently, which ultimately made our relationship stronger.
What I’ve learned is…
Returning to work after eight years was one of the hardest and best decisions I’ve made. It wasn’t the smooth transition I’d hoped for, but it was ultimately more rewarding than I’d imagined.
I’ve learned that there’s no perfect time to make major life changes, no perfect balance between work and family, and no perfect way to manage all the competing priorities in our lives. What matters is making decisions aligned with your values, being patient with yourself during transitions, and remaining flexible as circumstances change.
My career looks different now than it did eight years ago, and that’s okay. My family dynamics have evolved, my children are growing into independent individuals, and I’m discovering new aspects of myself professionally and personally.
In the end…
To any mom considering returning to work after an extended break: it’s challenging, it’s worth it, and you’re stronger and more capable than you realize. Trust yourself, prepare as much as you can, and remember that perfect is the enemy of good enough.
Your journey back to work will be uniquely yours, with its own timeline, challenges, and victories. Embrace the messiness, celebrate the small wins, and know that thousands of us have walked this path before you – and we’re all cheering you on.
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